After Thanksgiving I was looking for something in my bookshelf when I found a book I’d never bought. It was Glenn Beck’s Broke. When I opened the cover it contained an effusive recommendation — from me! — and a cryptic note: “15 of 16.” It dawned on me that I’d been pranked.
This set me looking for the rest. Of course the principal conspirators — my brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and son — were messing with my head. There were actually only 14 more. If I didn’t have the right number, they certainly had mine.
And what a collection it was!
- America by Heart by Sarah Palin, a dunce who can now be forgiven somewhat when compared to her male counterpart running the country
- Broke by Glenn Beck, two parts conspiracy theory and one part crackpot economics exploration
- Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government, by Glenn Beck (again) — a guy who thinks he’s Thomas Paine but is really just a pain without any common sense
- Decision Points by hapless Decider-in-Chief, George W. Bush, a dishonest, sanitized memoir of his many failures and weaknesses masquerading as success and strength
- Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America by white supremacist Ann Coulter, who picked a book that describes her to a tee
- Godless by VDARE and Aryan Nation darling Ann Coulter, sins of liberal atheists from Willie Horton to the Walkman
- More than Money by Neil Cavuto, uplifting stories of CEOs who triumphed despite their white privilege
- One Nation by narcoleptic fundamentalist surgeon Ben Carson, a meditation on what really enslaves and plagues America — and, surprise! — it’s nothing that would occur to any rational human being
- Slouching Towards Gomorrah by Robert Bork, which puts a cold white finger on what’s really wrong with America — pestilential strivings for democracy and equality
- The Case Against Barak Obama by David Freddoso, a hatchet job on Obama (prior to his other racist book, Gangster Government: Barak Obama and the New Washington Thugocracy)
- The Death of Outrage by William Bennett, a hit piece on Bill Clinton that reminds us that there really is a vast right wing conspiracy
- The Tyranny of Gun Control by conspiracy theorist and gun nut Jacob Hornberger and lover of all things Austrian Richard Ebeling
- The Way Things Ought to Be by oxycodone connoisseur Rush Limbaugh, unhinged rants on blacks, gays, women, law and order, and Hollywood liberals
- To Renew America by serial adulterer and well-educated “deplorable” Newt Gingrich, on “reasserting the values of American civilization” — code for beefing up American hyper-capitalism and racism
- Who’s Looking Out for You? by Bill O’Reilly (with a dedication to Roger Ailes), which attacks people who don’t take responsibility for their actions or the ill that befalls them– like, for instance, black people and women [including those he personally sexually abused]
My new collection had been repurposed from a library book sale that had no buyers for them. My sister-in-law’s wicked sense of humor provided an alternative to the town dump.
I related this experience to friends who thought it was pretty funny — something they’d love to do to bleeding hearts of their own.
Well. I just happened to have a box of books they could use.
Comments are closed.