A Conservative Bestiary

Posted by on 2017-01-06

Mainstream-ish

We start with conservative publications often cited in other conservative publications. Although some promote fairly extreme views, it’s nothing you don’t hear in the halls of Congress (think of Rep. Steve King) or on Fox News (think – all of them). While a few publications have managed to remain realistically fiscally and moderately social conservative, most have become pretty extreme, even William F. Buckley’s National Review. This alone should scare the hell out of Americans who remember that not even Barry Goldwater or Ronald Reagan would say such crazy.

Alt-Right

They imagine themselves the Naughty Boys of the Right, and they have a catchy new name, but they are nothing more than white supremacists and neo-Nazis. The only difference between these guys and their skinheaded cousins is a hairdo and a college degree. Just like Goebbels and Speer. And they’ve found their Führer.

Anti-Democratic

It is disappointing to discover that many Americans are not big supporters of democracy. Of course fifteen years of the Patriot Act hasn’t helped either. All these “Anti-Democrats” want is a dictator who will make the trains run on time and will charm them with their masculine wiles. Trump seems to really get these guys going.

Anti-Diversity

Keeping immigrants out is Step #1 in ensuring White purity. Some of these people try to wrap their white racist pork in scientific bacon (fake immigration “science”) for an extra helping of severely un-kosher baloney. But you can see through it pretty quickly.

Anti-Feminist

Conservatives have never liked women all that much, between all that legislation controlling women’s bodies, and revulsion at the possibility that women might be as independent as men. But now a newer generation of misogynists is on the loose. They’re guys with views so offensive it’s understandable they can’t get dates. Which probably just makes things worse.

Anti-Semitic

Virtually all these next groups fit into other hater categories, but they seem to have it out especially for Jews. And, no, these are not critics of Israel’s occupation or BDS activists. These are people who really do think Jews are devious space aliens from Satan’s loins, or the Holocaust is a conspiracy like the moon landing – or they’re just pissed because we won’t convert.

Anti-Work

This was an interesting surprise. Some of these basement dwellers abandoned Marx’s analysis that capitalism makes profits off worker’s labor and now think it’s all a plot to denigrate them as men and write off their Nietzschean qualities. Time to redecorate the man cave. Mom? Can I borrow $20?

Survivalist-Collapse

A war is coming. The Jews, the Elites, asteroids, Altoids. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that life as we know it is about to change and only the strong will survive. Sometimes this isn’t quite so dramatic – instead there’s a nostalgia for the way things once were – like when the South had slavery. God, these people are messed up.

White-Supremacist

By far, this was the largest group that emerged as I began accumulating links. Yessir, give the “Alt-Right” boy a proper haircut – and it turns out he’s really a skinhead.

Uncategorized

After a while I just couldn’t care anymore about which category they belonged in. There are just too many sociopaths and psychopaths who voted for Trump and have opinions like this:

White Supremacy

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